Looking back just a little bit.

So, I've finished the first draft of all 4 of my keyframes for the Beyond Human challenge on artstation.

I've got almost 2 weeks left to work on them, and I may yet completely redo one or more if I can come up with a better way to show the moment, or a better moment to show.


Let's stop for a moment.  All 4 of them are tighter, more engaging and more in line with the work I want to do than any of the 4 I did in February for the "Ancient Civilizations" challenge.  Honestly, they barely look like they were done by the same artist.  Since February, I have made roughly 60 keyframe paintings for personal projects.  They haven't all been amazing work, but when you look at them as a trajectory, there is clear, substantial growth happening.

I'm an artist - I have no idea how good I am.  I swing between thinking I'm garbage and thinking I could do almost anything.   What I can say is that I am closer to where I want to be now than I was in February.  It hasn't been easy.  Particularly in the last month, I feel like my artistic confidence has been slapped around quite a bit, by other artists I respect, by missed opportunities, and by my own inner critic.  I definitely thought I'd be further along by now than I am, and that's been hard to get past.  If you're just starting out, I hate to break it to you, but those feelings seem to get *worse* as you go onward, not easier.

I say those things not to complain, but rather to point out that even though this is a difficult, often painful road, I can take this moment to look back to the last mile marker, and see that it is much further back than I would have thought possible 4 months ago.

Thank you everyone who has stayed with me on the journey!